The Tongue In Cheek Stats Behind Town's Dreadful Form



It’s grim for Huddersfield Town fans at the moment, there’s no doubt about that. The team we love have not won a league game in 207 days, and we have to stretch our minds even further back to remember the last time Town won on a Saturday.


If you sit and think on that too long, it’s a surefire way to fall into a mental malaise, and for some fans, make them fall out of love with football. Personally, I’ve gone through all of the seven stages of grief with Huddersfield Town and now find myself at the acceptance stage.


Thing’s probably won’t get much better in the immediate future and I’m okay with that, I’ve learned to accept not seeing Town win. In fact, I’m actually at the stage where I can laugh at the situation and poke a bit of fun at our team’s losing ways.


If you’re not quite at that stage just yet, I suggest you close this page and return at a time when you are. Here is our list of what you could have been up to in the time since Town last won a league game, tasted victory on a Saturday and came from behind in the league to win…


Since Town Last Won a League Game… The cold weather was slowly abating, lighter nights were drawing in and Town were winning their first game under new coach Jan Siewert.

It was February 26th, 2019 and for a brief moment, we all forgot the horror of Town’s recent run of form and cheered as Steve Mounie prodded a last-minute winner into the back of the Wolverhampton goal.


That victory was 207 days ago, and if you slept on average 12 hours a day in that time period you could have done the following…


Watched every single episode of The Simpsons from start to finish before setting your sights on space travel. As you watched Homer Simpson’s face depart the screen for the last time you could have donned your space suit, hopped aboard a space shuttle and traveled to the moon.


Once there, you’d have time for a brief look around before returning to earth where your next monumental journey awaited. The lovely lads and lasses at NASA would kindly drop you off at the Stadium.


Instead of boarding a coach and heading down to the Olympic Stadium, you would set off walking toward Kostanay. You may not know of a place called Kostanay, but you will in 963 hours.


It’s a relatively small town just over the Russian/Kazakh border and is apparently, well worth a visit. After all that walking you’d be rightly exhausted, so you’d allow yourself 3 days to relax and take in the sights of wonderful Kostanay before heading back.


No planes, trains or automobiles for you my friend! You made this journey on foot and you’ll return in the exact same way. Whilst you were on your journey you missed the finale of Game of Thrones, so you’ll have to catch up on every episode when you arrive back in Huddersfield.


Starting with episode one, you’ll sit through each and every episode until the bitter, and ultimately disappointing end. After that, you’ll be left with 5 days to wait until Town’s next league match, away to West Brom in the Championship…



Since Town Last Won a League Game On a Saturday… Tom Ince’s last-gasp winner against Watford was magical! We all rejoiced in the glory of it and started to believe that the impossible was possible, we were going to keep our place in the Premier League, which of course, we did.


An awful lot has happened since then though, as we well know as Town fans. Wagner has gone, Hoyle has gone, Siewert has gone and the Cowley’s have just arrived. Imagine though that you’d been living in a Huddersfield Town bubble ever since that day, you would have missed all of these events…


  • Separatist group ETA announced its final dissolution after 40 years of fighting over independence in Spain.

  • France ended its twenty-year wait for World Cup glory by defeating Croatia in the final of the 2018 tournament.

  • The Supreme Court of India decriminalized homosexuality in the country

  • Theresa May solved Brexit, unsolved Brexit and then was finally replaced by Boris Johnson as Prime Minister. At the time of writing, Brexit is still unsolved.

  • Leeds United have won 32 league games…


(They didn't win this one though...)


Since Town Came From Behind To Win a League Game… Collin Quaner was the hero last time Town battled back from behind to win a game… It was at home against Preston in the Championship and the bumbling forward followed up from a missed Aaron Mooy penalty to grab Town a dramatic 3-2 win.


That was 890 days ago, or if you prefer, 21,360 hours in the past… In that time you could have continuously studied for twelve hours a day to become a doctor and then practiced for another 5,000 or so hours.


Or you could have traveled to Mars and back 4 times with around 14 days of rest to fit into that time as well. Or if walking is your thing, you could have walked around the globe at a fairly leisurely pace and still had time to watch every episode of The Simpsons, Game of Thrones and The Walking Dead consecutively.


Or you could have just sucked up all the misery, grieved for almost every defeat and then once your tears had run dry, written a tongue-in-cheek article about how bad Town have been.

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